Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
