Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
