I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
