it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
