did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
