the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
