I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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