took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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