Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize