ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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