Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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