your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
