I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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