Got a toothbrush?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
