Kiss
Puke
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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