How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
