oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
