I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize