She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
