That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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