Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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