"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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