dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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