I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Someone signed my nipple.
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