I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
