Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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