so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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