I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
