I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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