I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
