i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
