Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
