Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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