pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
