How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
