I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
