i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
