my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
