was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
