my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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