My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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