Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Randomize
