I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
