Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize