I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
