Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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