apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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