whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this boner is exhausting
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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