I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
vagina is talking i cant
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
