Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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