You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sorry about my life...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
