There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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