What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
soo... how was my night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
