My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
