I got chris browned last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize