wat bout pragnant strippers??
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
