we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
