just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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