im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
